This weekend I needed a break, my body practically demanded it, so I listened. I canceled my sheep work and laundry plans and was immediately met with overwhelming amounts of guilt and anxiety
(I just know I let down everyone this weekend, they are never going to forgive me). Why do I do this to myself? I am so attached to my plans and
expectations; to change them last minute leaves me feeling like I am treading water in the middle of the ocean...I'm sure there are sharks around, ready to sink me.
To escape these uneasy feelings (for the moment) and spend some time with animals, Matt and I hopped on our bikes early Sunday morning and spent the day at the
Sacramento Zoo. I have gone to this zoo since I was young and I even worked on their yearly audit in a past life; the residents have a fond place in my heart.
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| The jaguars were really playful throughout the day |
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| The leaves are always greener... |
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| Who knew you had to look so weird to eat ants? |
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| Matt-zilla |
Later a
post on disappointment by my yoga teacher, Michelle, hit me right in my distressed heart (how very timely!) My disappointment this weekend had more to do with not following through with my intentions, feeling like that somehow made me an ungrateful, less worthy person. When the reality is, I can't control how others will react when I assert my needs, I may let people down. But I can honor my feelings and recognize the value of this practice. And I am re-charged and ready to go next weekend!
So sorry to hear you were sick. :( I really liked what you said about honoring and valuing your feelings.
ReplyDeleteAnd thank you for the post from your yoga teacher; I really liked it. That's something I've started working on (and need more work on): "increasing my tolerance for other people's disappointments". :) Sounds so much easier (and meaner) than it really is.